I didn't wake up beside a girl, I woke up to a train at my feet. enclosed by branches was my old friend shaking in his sleep. I thought about northern ontario & how much colder it would get. I don't think I'll ever feel as scared as I did in that very second.
I thought about a night last august. stumbling out of a backyard with christian. he told me about a girl he thought he might be in love with. I thought "this is all so simple" after that late night conversation. until I fell on glass & cut open my hand & wiped my blood on the door of a car.
I thought about sam gaudet & the afternoon she met me with a limp. we jumped fences together & ran around like we were kids. we ran out the back of an abandoned building when we saw the cops searching for us. I'll never forget hiding behind the sky jack until it was safe to run.
I thought about lorissa & how we would drive around very late at night for hours on end. exploring the airport because she adored the lights. she showed me the spots where she grew up in cambridge & sang on her front porch with her dad & learned new songs. I hope she's safe in her resort.
I thought about madison & how I felt like we hadn't talked in years. I missed him completely & wondered how did we both disappear. I always miss my real friends when I'm away from home because it's not the same. I wondered if six years ago we would embrace what we later became?
I rolled over & closed both my eyes, & adjusted the cardboard beneath my back. the train that woke me had gone far away down the tracks. I thought about familiar faces & though they might not be "till the end", I don't think I'll ever feel as safe as I did in those few seconds.