MTL demo (2011)

by the official suckers

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    a solo lo-fi e.p. released for a four day hitch hiking trip to montreal.
    around two hundred cassettes were eventually constructed with varying track listings.

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  • MTL demo - SOLD OUT
    Cassette

    hand assembled demo, taped over the albums of rock n' roll heroes or christian bible story audiobooks.
    spraypainted colourful cassette, made unique for each order. I can record a couple live songs at the end of the cassette for you if you want. name the song when you place your order. no promises!

    Includes unlimited streaming of MTL demo (2011) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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about

these songs were written variously between 2009 & 2011. they are about alcoholism, crushes, old friends...

credits

released November 25, 2011

#2 was originally written & forgotten by blair dubecki.
#3 was originally written for the lost causemonauts; a short lived halifax punk band.
#4 was a fairy boy song.
#6 is by the weakerthans.
#7 is a fairy boy song played live with the official suckers in halifax at the end of tour.
this wasn't supposed to be a real album but the songs were never recorded with the band so this is all that's left.

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about

the official suckers Halifax, Nova Scotia

drowning in dysphoria & dreams of maps & a different body.
grew up in a closet, left home, nearly died, settled in halifax & slowly came to terms with gender, sexuality & associated shame throughout the course of these songs.
thank you for your support.
... more

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Track Name: fuck you halifax (hangover headache)
I passed out in the fog with two blocks left to walk. a stranger woke me up, sleeping on a power box. my blood flowed slow until reaching my knuckles, then froze. this wouldn't be the first time I hid my hands, embarrassed. wearing my gloves indoors to cover up the band aids. you've been there too & always gotten through.
we got each other drunk in the corner of a basement. nervously holding hands during the walk home. I said, "I love this place", but I wonder am I just too fucking stubborn to recognize the aspects I hate?
but every time you only see what you don't want instead of what you want, & everyone around you only hates the same things you do, not loves the same things; we're resigned to define ourselves by all the shit we can't take.
I picked my scabs off in my sleep & woke up scared from the worst dreams but you were there next to me, so I held on but not knowing where my arms go, put one around you & one underneath the pillow.
now two weeks later checking my bedsheets for lice. I spill my beer on the mattress & pass out with the lights still on.
Track Name: blacked out tattoos
originally written & forgotten by blair dubecki.

I don't want to ever leave your room. it's too scary outside I need you. sky's been crying so please drive slow. if you want I'll walk you home or maybe we can meet up in toronto & head out for the coast? you can show me where the river's go. we'll build an a-frame with our bones.
I'm scared of all the people who I used to call friends. I'm scared of how to answer when they ask me how I've been. I've lied to far too many who would have never lied to me. I've wasted far too many dollars. am I wasting time with my honesty?
why can't we all believe in ourselves enough to get through life alone? why isn't everybody given a chance, a home?
& if you want to run away I'll be ready to go. we can catch a fast train or head out on the road. drive a thousand hours with someone we don't know...
I promise by the time we reach the ocean your heart will feel at home.
Track Name: young ones fuck up
I met you in the spring time in the backyard of a punk house, offered you an ice cream sandwich & introduced myself. you drove from alberta in a van with your best friend. both our bands played shows & we traded our old records. you stayed for a whole month in the house I used to live in, smoking too many cigarettes & trying to forget all the secrets that you hid. I could see right through it & a couple times while drunk you told me bits & pieces about where you had come from. I had no idea how deep the pain went. I didn't know you well enough but tried to understand.
& I sung your songs in my head a month after you left.
a couple months went past & I saw you again in edmonton. everything seemed worse. sleeping on the couches of old friends because your house keys were back sunk in the atlantic. it was hard to talk you seem confused. cursing all the numbered streets you knew & buying the cheapest six pack you could afford. feeling trapped by what was familiar, suppressing all of your desires & knowing the truth but choosing not to act, but you're much stronger than that.
I know you will get through.
Track Name: "when you were a boy"
window open. below weather. knee deep snowbanks. the ice & frost melts & breaks into shapes of states & north eastern maps. the inland sea starts to recede & deposits me deep under shale. maritime provinces drawn on my honest skin with birthmarks & dotted towns. ideas sewn into hair by a couple of close friends. the arctic circle escape explained through collect calls from a brooklyn phone. I sing to the cold & it shows me my breath & the slowest highway home.
I'm trying not to explain between song lyrics, mannerisms or the same name, connections with a face that I'll never see. like the two drunkest people in the room slow dancing to the jangle of their keys; it won't be remembered.
Track Name: NSLC punk
I can feel you judging me. slurring my words surrounded by floating jaw bones that speak well rehearsed rhetoric but predictably bleak. I'm staring through your freckles & towards the sink full of dirty cutlery & ashed out on plates; the tiny failures we can't help but repeat. knee deep in the sewage waste of your words ill intent. sinking peninsula for all of my friends.
& if you all weren't watching I'd probably keep drinking & continue ignoring advice from the old me. just like you I'm not sure where my ideas fit into the picture of everyone working together to roll cigarettes & dissect all of the rumours, to give up on something you never really helped start.
I'm sitting on a tire in a parking lot with a dog I don't know, a tall can between my legs after four weeks of constant downpour. I swear that the next time the sun comes out I'm biking north to sit by the basin & watch engines pull freight in, to hope that this season was more than just evictions & rain.
Track Name: my favourite chords (weakerthans cover)
weakerthans cover. I changed some of the lyrics. I don't care. I love this band so much...